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Phase 1 - Tension Building
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- Minor incidents of battering occur
- Increased levels of psychological and emotional abuse
- Victim is in denial and rationalizes they have done something wrong to provoke the violence and deserve it
- Victim believes they are the one who should change
- Victim becomes more withdrawn - pushes away family, friends and children
- Victim knows what is coming
- Abuser sees withdrawal as a rejection
- Victim tries to keep the abuser happy
- Increased possessiveness by abuser in hopes of keeping the victim captive
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Phase 2 - Acute Battering
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- Tension discharges through violent assault
- Almost always occurs in home where no one (other than children) will witness or stop assault
- Victim is basically powerless to do anything other than flee or hide
- Sometimes victim will provoke violence - senses it’s inevitable and wants to get it over with
- Victim tends to be isolated - embarrassed, in shock or too badly hurt to leave
- Abuser will not allow victim to leave
- Victim feels shame - I allowed someone to do this to me
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Phase 3 - Honeymoon Stage
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- Calm and loving period
- Abuser promises to change and never hurt victim again
- Abuser tries to make victim feel guilty and responsible for the violence
- The abuser does and says things the victim wishes they would do all the time
- The abuser believes they have re-established control, but may not be sorry for what they’ve done to the victim
- Both victim and abuser often rationalize and minimize severity of incident
- Many victims leave at the beginning stage - if victim leaves, abuser won’t be willing to let him/her go and will begin a campaign to get him/her back - often using children as a tool or threat
- This state represents the victim’s idealistic view of how marriage or a relationship should be and victim can’t resist giving it "one more try"
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